Reaction to my airline rant. They hate me more than when I blasted Katherine Heigl

Usually I don’t respond to comments. It’s your forum and I’m the hockey referee. I just drop the puck, get out of the way, and let you guys go at it. But my Sunday post on airline treatment has sparked such a heated and bizarre debate that I just had to chime in.

So to some of my dear commenters, and I say this with the greatest respect, are you fucking nuts?! You’re DEFENDING the airlines? Really?

And with such vitriol! Wow! You’d think I said nice things about Patty Heaton again. I once got a death threat for doing that. When the personal attacks start coming then I know I’m really on to something.

Usually they’re the standard “I’m a fucking idiot”, “I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about”, “I’m not funny”, “I’m a hundred years old”, “I’m a Democrat”, “I can’t spell”. But then when they want to bring out the big guns – really get to me – they go to this card:

I’m a rich pampered entitled Hollywood writer.

One particularly pissed commenter, Huggy said “catch a ride with Matt Damon or one of your Hollywood pals.” Um, how do I arrange that? Because that would be really cool! Does anybody have Matt’s number or know if he’s planning to go to New York the week of Thanksgiving? And does he have room for seven?

No, I’m afraid I fly commercial just like the rest of you little people.

In fairness, I did receive a number of thoughtful and informed arguments from former or current airline employees offering their side. And it’s no picnic believe me. One pilot said they even lost his luggage. Another vigorously supported the on-time record of his airline. But later admitted he was stuck in Dallas because of some delay.

A number of commenters contend that this shoddy service we’re receiving is a trade-off for the lower fares we’re willing to pay. First of all, the fares vary wildly. Yes, there are times you can fly from LA to New York for $200. Other times it’s $700. Try to book on a website. Prices will vary from literally minute-to-minute. And those lower fares are usually for the worst seats. An upgrade now means the first 40 rows.

And why should the amount we pay determine whether it’s okay to lie to us or over-charge us for other things? The cashiers at Costco are all nice to me. Maybe the airlines should issue “Platinum” cards for those customers who pay more for their seats. Gate employees can take them aside and discreetly say, “Look, I’m telling everyone else the new departure time is 3:50 but we really just reassigned that plane to Matt Damon who’s taking a TV writer he’s never met and his family to New York so until we can find another plane – and again, I’ll be honest – there are no other planes. We keep failing safety tests and have to take them off line. But until we find another one I’m going to just keep moving the departure time back. You might want to get on another flight. And again, this is just between us.”

Here’s the only thing about the comments that concern me. Why should the airlines not treat us like shit when there are lemmings that accept and even defend their bad behavior? It’s hard to demand respect when the passenger next to you is the “Gimp” from PULP FICTION.

Okay, so let the debate continue. And for the record, I don’t turn a hundred until next February.