"You might be a Progressive Christian if . . . ."

Remember Jeff Foxworthy, "You might be a redneck if . . . ."?

Yesterday, I ended my post about Evangelicals with a little riff on Foxworthy's joke. It was a version of "You might be Evangelical if . . . ." which was written by Evangelicals as a little joke on themselves.

Turnabout is fair play.

I invited folk to post their own version of "You might be a Progressive Christian if . . ." on my FaceBook page. In less than 24 hours, I was amazed and delighted by the response.

I think there is plenty of evidence that Progressive Christians take our faith seriously, not ourselves.

With advanced apologies to Jeff Foxworthy and many Progressive Christians around the church, I offer some of their best.

If you can use the words 'liberation', 'justice' and 'hermeneutic of suspicion' in the same sentence. . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If the one WC ("water closet") in the sacristry no longer is designated for "Men" (only). . . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Kathy)

Note: If you know that a 'WC' is a toilet and what a sacristry is . . . you might be a Progressive ANGLICAN Christian.

If you carry your church's banner in the local AIDS walk (which your church started).. . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Frank)

If 'Stewardship of Creation' is a way of life. . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Sarah)

If there's an LGBT dinner at the Cathedral and a majority of the folks who show up are straight retired couples. . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Paul)

If you would consider wearing this T-shirt . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If you buy a pink and white striped clergy shirt for the pride parade . . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Carrol)

If you see Susan Russell on the TV news doing the "progressive Christian viewpoint" and tell everyone in the room, "Hey, she's my Facebook friend!" . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.(Maria)

If your parish has incense, sanctus bells...and rainbow flags. . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Laurie)

Your 8 year old son asks if it's okay if boys can be priests and bishops one day, too. . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If you think the following cartoon is wicked but funny . . . .

 . . . .. . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If your church has a service in Spanish and is working on adding a service in Creole. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If you seek actively--even forcefully--ecumenical and interfaith worship and ministries, all the while being secure in and anchored by your Episcopal/Anglican Christian faith . . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Eddie)

If the local newspaper calls you whenever they need a comment on an LGBT issue. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Christianne)

If you know Jesus did not own a copy of the KJV of the Old/New Testament. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (James).

You might be a progressive redneck Christian if you have a rainbow Episcopal Shield bumper sticker on your Ford F-150 pickup truck. (Maria)

If you think this should be the motto of the Progressive Christian Movement . . . . . .

. . . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If you have a parish float or marching unit in the local pride parade . . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Elaine)

If you have at least 4 bishops and Marge Christie as FB friends . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Elisabeth).

If you belong to a church family that really welcomes all . . . you might be a Progressive Christian. (Barbara)

If you see the importance of the "spirit of the law" instead of the "letter of the law" when it comes to TRADITION, WORSHIP, AND OTHER PRACTICES IN AND OF THE CHURCH. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Eddie).

If you have been to a U2carist . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Jay)

If you think the following cartoon is funny and is not proof positive that you have a "one track mind". . . .

. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

When you're worried you might have to call a straight priest (as your next rector). . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Elisabeth).

If you know the difference between homoousios and homoioúsios and can actually explain it. . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Joy).

Sadly for some...if you move the candle stick 3 inches without the white gloves...you might be a Progressive Christian (Lisa).

If you advocated to have your church listed on the Believe Out Loud website of welcoming churches and are straight. . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Lori).

If this cartoon makes sense to you . . .

. . . .you might be a Progressive Christian.

If your bookshelf includes a wide variety of authors, like C.S. Lewis, J.S. Spong, N.T. Wright, M. Daly, E.S. Fiorenza, R.R. Ruther, P. Tillich, T.D. Jakes and H.R. Niebuhr. . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If the statement "Gene Robinson is the most dangerous man in the Anglican Communion" makes you laugh out loud . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

"If the welcome message of your church says something like: "Wherever you are in your spiritual journey—whether a hesitant searcher or a longtime churchgoer— we invite you to visit and discover if this could be a possible spiritual home for you. As Episcopalians we strive to live by the message of Christ, in which there are no outcasts and all are welcome." . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Elisabeth).

If you support Reproductive Rights because you are Pro-life - including the right to life of the pregnant woman . . . you might be a Progressive Christian.

If you actually follow what Jesus taught. . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Avianca).

If you loved all these comments . . . you might be a Progressive Christian (Judith).

That's it. Well, so far. If you have additional entries, just leave them in the comment section or email them to me and I'll update this from time to time.

Thanks to all who have contributed.  You really made my day.

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a whole lot better about being a Christian - and an Evangelist.

C'mon in!  The Baptismal Water is just fine!