Doin' the Lambeth Rag

Cartoon by Texas Bishop

I've been a bit out of the loop of "All Anglican Drama All The Time", but not enough not to be alternately amused and annoyed by "Mitregate" - including the recent visit of Canon Kenneth Kearon with the members of the Executive Council which recently met in Baltimore.

In case you didn't know, the ABC asked the Presiding Bishop of TEC not to wear her mitre when she was a recent guest preacher at Southwark Cathedral in UK.

The kerfuffle has led to assurances by Lambeth Palace that this is standard operational procedure. Except, of course, there's this.

And, this.

Inspired by ++Katharine Jefferts Schori, who called the whole thing off by calling it "beyond bizarre," I've been inspired to make a little journey of my own into the Theater of the Absurd.

I learned a long time ago that laughter, in the face of evil, is proof positive of your belief in God.

I mean, if you didn't believe that there is a God, where would you get the courage to laugh at Evil?

'Mitregate' is nothing less than a manifestation of the Evil of misogyny. Laughing at it won't make it go away. But it sure does make the burden of oppression seem just a wee bit lighter.

So, without further ado, here's the Vatican Rag. For those of you unfamiliar with my parody, I've included a clip of the original below.

Enjoy. And, do pray for +++Rowan. Poor man. He can't help it. He's just a tad insecure. You see, his mitre is smaller than ++Katharine's mitre.

It's just "mitre envy".

The Lambeth Rag
(with apologies to Tom Lehrer)

First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect and
Obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate.

Wear a miter if you can
If it’s cool with Rowan, The Man.
‘Primus inter pares’
Means I’m in charge. (Sorry.)
Doin’ the Lambeth Rag.

Women need to know their place
Lesbians and gays – hide your face
We don’t like to cause a stir
So we’ll make the gospel blur
We will know that we are blessed
When you learn that Father knows best
Two, four, six, eight
Diversity just ain’t that great.

So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect and
Obfuscate, obfuscate, obfuscate.

Make a cross on your abdomen
When with +++Rowan, do like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it’s good to see ya
Diversity’s a problem an’
Authority’s in crisis an’
Doin' the Lambeth Rag!