Funny church signs

There is a veritable plethora of little churches in Lower Slower Delaware.   I have observed an unwritten rule in LSD: the smaller the church, the larger the sign out front, the funnier the message.

I am driving to Wilmington next Thursday and I am planning to leave an additional hour just to be able to stop and take pictures along the way to post here. 

Until then, you are going to have to be entertained with these.

I'm not sure this message is the most effective way to boost your ASA (Average Sunday Attendance), but it is pretty telling, isn't it?

Although for some, it's a more meaningful experience than the liturgy or sermon.

True enough. Ms. Conroy tells me it's "O'Shaughnessy".   

What if I don't want them back? Oh, right. You take them to the 'Redemption Center'.

Umm . . . I think I'd rather go to the 'Redemption Center' than Walmart.

Yeah, but nothing tastes as sweet as 'forbidden fruit jam'.  I'm thinking Pastor Jim might have a stash of the stuff somewhere in his Study.

And, last but not least . . . .  . I saved the worst for last.

So, do make sure you get to church at 10:50 like the sign says. Not 10:49. Not 10:51. 10:50. Otherwise, you might miss your flight to heaven and have to stay in bed shouting God's name.

See also: the sign that says "Don't let worries kill you. Let the church help."