Bishop Eddie Long, the prosperous prophet of the Gospel of Prosperity, and pastor of a 25,0000 member mega-church near Atlanta, has been charged with the sexual coercion of several teenage boys whom he recruited into leadership in the Youth Ministry.

Three of these young men, 17-18 years old at the time but now in their early 20s, have filed lawsuits describing him as a sexual predator and claiming that the bishop pushed them into sex, lavished them with expensive gifts, and sent them suggestive photos of himself in a "muscle shirt" in the bathroom.

He is known throughout the country as the leading "anti-homosexuality pastor" and once led a march of thousands through Atlanta in protest of gays and lesbians and marriage equality, saying, "homosexuality is a spiritual abortion."

Indeed, it has been widely reported that, at Coretta Scott King's funeral in 2006, which was held at his church, some civil rights leaders refused to attend because Long is so anti-gay.

The bishop drives a Bentley, wears expensive suits, and has his own private jet, which one of the boys claims was used to fly him from LA to Trinidad to NYC, while Long abused him sexually.

Attorneys for Long have adamantly deny the charges. However, addressing a New Birth Missionary Baptist Church sanctuary packed with thousands on Sunday, the bishop declined to discuss specifics of lawsuits filed against him – or, interestingly enough, to flatly deny the accusations. But he drew thunderous applause when he told his church that while he's not perfect, the picture painted by the allegations is far from accurate.

"I'm not a perfect man,"  he said. An interesting turn of phrase - one that would ring familiar on the ears of many in that congregation. To my ears, which have been listening to this kind of rhetoric for more years than I'd like to admit, it sounds like "code" for something.

The word on the street is that many knew the bishop was "on the down low" but kept silent.

In his book, "On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men", written in 2004, author J.L. King describes his own experience and those of other Black men who live what he calls "a discreet sexual life style" of having sexual relationships with women, often within marriage and an otherwise "normal family life" while also secretly engaging in sex with other men in gyms, bathhouses and parks.

The term springs out of the urban landscape, predominantly among young African American men who have sex with men and women but do not identify as bisexual.

A 2003 New York Times Magazine cover story on the Down Low phenomenon explains that the black community sees "homosexuality as a white man's perversion." It then goes on to describe the Down Low culture as follows:

“Rejecting a gay culture they perceive as white and effeminate, many black men have settled on a new identity, with its own vocabulary and customs and its own name: Down Low. There have always been men – black and white – who have had secret sexual lives with men. But the creation of an organized, underground subculture largely made up of black men who otherwise live straight lives is a phenomenon of the last decade... Most date or marry women and engage sexually with men they meet only in anonymous settings like bathhouses and parks or through the Internet. Many of these men are young and from the inner city, where they live in a hypermasculine thug culture. Other DL men form romantic relationships with men and may even be peripheral participants in mainstream gay culture, all unknown to their colleagues and families. Most DL men identify themselves not as gay or bisexual but first and foremost as black. To them, as to many blacks, that equates to being inherently masculine.

This is one of the photos of Long which the young men of his youth group allege was sent to them by the bishop.

I don't know about you, but, looking at this image, the word, "hypermasculine" certainly comes immediately to my mind. It's clearly not an image of any bishop I've ever known in the church - but that may say more about my own inexperience than anything else.

There are, reportedly, "hundreds" of young men in Long's Youth Ministry. At first, only two came forward. They were joined by a third. I understand that a fourth lawsuit has been filed. I suspect there will be more before this is all over.

While I abhor and detest the sexual exploitation of children and young people in any situation any where, and I am sickened unto death by yet another exposure of yet another trusted church leader who has engaged in this heinous practice, I find myself strangely grateful for the hypocrisy of Bishop Eddie Long.

Well, let me be more specific: It's about time it got exposed. I'm grateful for that.

And, I'm quite certain, he's not the only one - Black or White - whose duplicity about human sexuality fuels the anti-homosexuality fervor which keeps in place immoral policies like DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) and blocks the civil rights of others in things like Marriage Equality.

I think the case exposed by Anderson Cooper - of Michigan’s Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell who is harassing the new student body president of the University of Michigan, Chris Armstrong, a college student, because he’s gay - is yet another example. It may be "immaturity" as Shirvell's boss says, but watching the video, I suspect there's something more.

It's also behind the suicide of Rutgers University Tyler Clementi after his roommate secretly filmed him during a "sexual encounter" in his dorm room and posted it live on the Internet

My hope - my prayer - is that as this legal case of sexual coercion makes its way through the courts, these young men do not succumb to being "bought out" in an out-of-court monetary settlement. That would only give credence to the counter-allegation of Long's attorneys that these allegations are a baseless adolescent prank designed to bring down the powerful Bishop Long and gain personal financial benefit.

Further, I hope - I pray - that, because of cases like this, we can begin to talk about the full range of human sexuality - not just focus on homosexuality - and begin to learn to accept it as a Divine Gift as expressed in a variety of ways in a plethora of social contexts.

Let's applaud people like Bishop Carlton Pearson who addresses Gays in the Black Church as a reality to be embraced and not condemned as an abomination.

Let's call an abomination an abomination. The abuse of power in sexual relationships - sexual coercion, assault and rape, pornography, prostitution, sex slavery, and sex with a child - is an abomination in the sight of God and all of God's creation.

So, too, are the duplicity and deceit which are prospered in the service of our miseducation and misunderstanding about - and therefore, the misuse of - physical expressions of intimacy and love.

Until we can receive, accept and celebrate the divine gift of human sexuality, we hold the potential to abuse it. We'll continue to tangle ourselves in an intricate web of deceit and duplicity - like the 'down low' - making scapegoats of some and victims of others.

"Once you become a public figure, you can't hide anymore," J.L. King once told JET magazine. "Once you accept who you are, you are no longer lying and hiding who you are. I want Brothers to know they don't have to continue to hurt and to hurt others."

My hope - my prayer - is that, once you become a Christian, you don't need to hide any more. Once you accept who you are as a beloved child of God who has been given the Divine gift of sexuality which is part of the totality of your humanity, you no longer need to lie and hide who you are.

Because, not only do you hurt others; ultimately, you hurt yourself as well.

As Audre Lorde, once said, in her essay "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action," from her book, "Sister Outsider":

I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect.

Your silence will not protect you.

Somebody send this message to Bishop Long, and tell him that, in fact, he's hurting himself, his family, his church, his community, those young boys, as well as the Sacred Heart of the Jesus he professes to love and serve.

Somebody remind him that "confession is good for the soul" - not only his, but that of his church - and, specifically, the souls of the young boys whom he allegedly coerced into sex.

Somebody point him to Matthew 18:15-17 where Jesus talks about how to handle sin in the church, but especially Matthew 18:18: "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on hearth will be loosed in heaven."

Here's what Sister Audre says after she tells us in that same essay about the Transformation of Silence:

I've been thinking about silence lately. How we use silence to protect ourselves. How we use silence to maintain the status quo. How we use silence to express indifference. How we use silence because it's easier than taking a risk. How silence becomes just another expression of laziness.

I have always interpreted silence as indifference or disdain. It is the fastest, surest way to get me to retreat. In my family of origin, silence was punishment. Being ostracized from the group is how we were forced back into line.

It stops everything cold. It chills the soul. It destroys relationships. It serves no purpose. It allows things to go on that should never go on.

In a more benign sense, silence is what destroys relationships. Things unsaid. And as we use silence in our private interactions, it extrapolates out to the larger world and becomes a way of life.

Not speaking. Not asking. Passivity that comes not from peace but from simple indifference and laziness.

I don't get involved in American politics. Period. But I have definitely seen how silence contributes to the continuation of the path that country is on, and how, just as was predicted by those much wiser than me, it allows the oligarchy (yes, I'll use that word) to gain more and more control over the private lives of citizens. At what point do I use the "f-word" (fascism) which requires a silenced population? I feel safe and accurate to use it now.

Am I the only one who sees it?"

No. No, I think not.

Somebody give the Sister Outsider an 'Amen'.

Read more »

He’s 84 years-old, looks like a wizened fungo bat, and thinks that hot 24 year-old girls like him for who he is – but you’ve gotta admit, Hugh Hefner lives the life. He’s got a mansion, naked girls running amuck, a game room, a grotto, a screening room – everything a man could possibly want (if that man is Glenn Quagmire).


Up until now only his elite friends and A-list celebrities were allowed inside those big gates that guard Debaucheryland. Mere mortals like you and me could only gawk from high-powered telescopes set atop the Beverly Glen Fire Station.


But us poor simps are not on the outside looking in anymore. No sir. Now Hef has included us in his coveted inner circle. Now we’re privy to his innermost thoughts. Because now… Hugh Hefner has discovered Twitter! And even better -- somebody has taught him how to use it! I follow him.  I get vicarious thrills and more important, lots and lots of laughs.  So allow me to "re-tweet" as it were.  See what it's like to lead the life of luxury, fantasy, and absurdity.

Tonight's Mansion activities include live mixed marshal arts & boxing matches in the back yard, plus Dancing Playmates & Painted Ladies.  

I worked on my scrapbook this afternoon, Keith played tennis & Crystal visited celebrity grave sites with Mary O'Conner & Victoria Fuller.

We just finished watching Sacha Baron Cohen in "Bruno." Hilarious. And now it's time to say good night.

Crystal & Anna hung out this afternoon & got their nails done. Claire is back from her Crazy Horse Paris rehearsal in Vegas.

The Entrepreneurs Organization is holding a charity affair here tonight with Playmates, Painted Ladies, 2 DJ's & a Hookah Lounge.

The current Tea Party-Republican controversy was predicted in "Rogues of K Street" in the July Playboy. First rate journalism.

Crystal has enrolled in an acting class along with Anna.

I think Crystal & I are going to get more serious & watch "60 Minutes" before we call it a night.

A non-profit group in Houston, Texas is reading Playboy magazine to the blind.

Playboy has 2 different October covers--one with Sasha Grey & one with Kim Phillips with a college theme.

Crystal & I have had something to eat & now we're relaxing in bed, about to watch "Slumdog Millionaire."

Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez is having lunch at the Mansion.

Jack Nicholson's son gave his frat brothers a Mansion tour Sunday while all the girls were sunbathing. Happy pledges.

Crystal bought her own iPad today.

Buzz Aldrin was talking to Ray Bradbury last night about putting a manned outpost on the moon.

Last night's reference to "come ice cream" should have read "some ice cream."

You can't make this stuff up!

Read more »

Some random odd and ends. Hey, this is how Larry King started.

Only in LA. It was 113 here Monday afternoon, highest it’s ever been since Joan Collins was born (1877). I kid you not, this became a story: It was so hot that a crew member on DANCIN’ WITH THE STARS and an audience member of THE PRICE IS RIGHT felt ill. But here’s the really really good news, the story goes on to report – neither show had to interrupt production!!

Okay, I admit it. I like HAWAII 5-0. I guess you have to buy that the governor can have her own four member police force but the show is fun. I don’t know what I enjoy more, the beauty shots of Hawaii or seeing them drive through Oahu without any traffic. The Oahu I know is the Eisenhower Expressway at 5 PM. The show stealer is Scott Caan. And I’m thrilled Grace Park is aboard. Every week I watched Battlestar Gallactica just waiting to see her surf.

In American, marriages fell to a record low in 2009. This is according to the U.S.Census Bureau and confirmed personally by me based on the lack of proposals this season on DodgerVision.

Who's going to take over for Rahm Emanuel?  Does Jim Wiatt have a brother?  

This is why networks generally don’t give second season pick-ups based on premiere numbers alone. BOARDWALK EMPIRE got good ratings its first week, HBO renewed them, and week two their numbers plunged 31%. Oh well. It’s not like BOARDWALK EMPIRE is an expensive show to produce.  I love how shows will get big samplings, the network will then tout them as "America's New Number One Smash", and by December they're shit canned.

Who had LONE STAR as the first show to be canceled?  Big question for Fox:  what to do in its weekend encore slot?   Don't they still have 18 unaired TIL DEATHS? 

Finally saw the pilot of @!&!! MY FATHER SAID. Excruciating. Like having your wisdom teeth removed without an anesthetic while passing a kidney stone while Kathy Bates is crushing your ankles. The show starts with a testicle joke and goes downhill from there. Then it's just a barrage of cheap, easy, classless, obvious, tasteless gags. I’m surprised even the laugh machine didn’t groan. Yes, Shatner is miscast but so is the son. I hated him even more.

Plus, without great writing and sparkling casts, all these new multi-camera shows feel so retro and stale. The bad joke rhythms, the laugh machine guffawing at nothing, the actors trying way too hard, the living room and coffee shop sets that all look the same.  Save money.  Just reuse the sets from DAVE'S WORLD.

I know James Burrows is getting a lot of heat since he directed most of these misfires, but hey, he didn’t come up with these premises, he didn’t cast these shows. You think Lubitsch could have made @!&!! MY FATHER SAID work?

Glad you guys liked my Monday discussion of how we broke that episode of ALMOST PERFECT.  Assuming I don't forget how to upload video (a BIG assumption) I'll do this more often.  

Now that the baseball season is ending (although the Dodger season ended weeks ago) here are my picks for the various awards.  Let the angry debate begin. 

NL MVP: Carlos Gonzales
AL MVP: Josh Hamilton
NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay
AL CY Young: C.C. Sabathia
NL Rookie of the Year: Buster Posey
AL Rookie of the Year: Danny Valencia

I love Rebecca Hall.

I also love DEXTER. It’s so deliciously… disturbed. In Sunday’s season premiere he tells his wife’s kids and parents that their beloved mother/daughter was murdered… while wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Poor Julie Benz.  First ASK HARRIET and now this.

Karissa Shannon not only has a sex tape, she also has a trailer. I can only pray there will be a "Making of" feature on the DVD. 

Steve Miller from the Steve Miller Band will be teaching music this year at USC.  And the amazing thing is this isn't a reality show (unlike Tony Danza's year teaching high school in Philadelphia).  I look forward to the USC marching band playing "the Joker" and "Abracadabra". 

Headline in the HuffingtonPost: Octomom Has A Yard Sale With Bras, Bikinis To Avoid Foreclosure.  Free ball.  I leave that one-liner to you.

Read more »

More on my ill-fated disc jockey career. 

In March 1973 I was hired by KMEN San Bernardino to do the all-night show. My salary was a whopping $650 a month to work the coveted midnight-six shift six nights a week. As with Bakersfield, I was not allowed to use my real name. Let’s just say Levine sounded too, uh… “New York”. So again I was Ken Stevens. Of course how do I complain that my name is too generic when my program director goes by Buddy Scott?

So I did all-nights and never got any sleep. The phone number I was assigned was the same as an LA hooker’s (just a 714 area code instead of 310). She advertised in the LA WEEKLY and a hundred times a day I’m getting calls saying, “Hey, man, is Jeannie there?”

On the air, talking to cows for six hours, I needed something to occupy my mind. So I started a friendly little rivalry with the evening jock, Doug DeRoo. Doug is amazingly talented. Imagine the character Robin Williams played in GOOD MORNING VIET NAM only funnier. “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Old Oak Tree” by Tony Orlando and Dawn was the big hit then. We wanted to see who could come up with the most one-liners while introducing it. For days this Titanic tug-of-war continued. One bad one-liner after another. Proud to say I won. Not proud that my winning quip involved urine.

Is it any wonder that the program director kept sending me memos to just shut up and stop trying to be funny?

KMEN’s promotion budget was zero. So we were sent out on appearances that wouldn’t cost the station. A favorite was the high school basketball game between the disc jockeys and the faculty. By “faculty” they pretty much meant gym teachers vs. six out-of-shape mostly drugged out radio nerds. It was an exhibition but invariably there’d be one Cro-Magnon teacher who thought he was Reggie Evans – throwing elbows, and clotheslining guys. I don’t think this is what the station had in mind – we got into a brawl with the Redland High faculty. So in addition to always being sleep deprived I did the show that night holding an ice pack to my head.

June meant school graduations so in the spirit I brought my high school annual from home and read the idiotic things people wrote about me or to me.  It was a good schtick.  If anyone was listening I'm sure they would have enjoyed it.    But as the records were playing at 3 in morning I began leafing thrugh the book, perusing the senior pictures.  All those girls I had a crush on, I thought they were probably sleeping in nice warm beds with loving former football stars/husbands leading a contented life.  And where was I?  In a fucking cow pasture in the middle of the night.  "Most Likely to Waste His Life".  That was more depressing than playing Elanor Rigby. 

Every morning from 4-4:15 I had to do a farm report. So I’d rip all this stuff off the teletype machine and read it verbatim, having no fucking idea what I was talking about. Giving sorghum updates, pork belly prices, and harvest predictions.  Let's just say guys with uh, New York last names know shit about farming. 

I also had to do an hourly newscast. And there again I’d race into the newsroom the last minute, rip off the headlines, and read them on the air. I never pre-read them. No disc jockey ever did. God knows if I ever pronounced all those Cambodian villages correctly. Of course, it’s not like I got any calls complaining. But hard to pronounce names were always the bane of our existence. One former KMEN disc jockey got around that once with what I believe to be the smoothest save EVER. This is how he reported the following news story:

“And in other news – the President of Brazil has just died. His name is being withheld until the family has been notified”.

Genius. Sheer genius. You gotta love radio.

By the way, I called the phone company, changed my number, and explained why.  A week later the guy I talked to called back to thank me.  

Read more »

My child, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste. Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, you will find a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

- Proverbs 24:13-14

I've been thinking about the Republican Manifesto, "The Pledge to America" which was unveiled last week.

No, I haven't read it all. It's about 8,000 words, taking more than a minute to download on my laptop. It is filled with graphs and charts, and heavily laced with inspiring quotes.

However, it has a a single animating idea, which is the conviction that the Republicans as much as the Democrats have been an accessory to the growth of spending and deficits, and that the Republican establishment needs to be punished for straying from fiscal rectitude.

"The Pledge" is, at its core, a conservative, Tea Party homage to an "orthodox" understanding of the Constitution. You know. Sort of like the Windsor Document, which eventually "devolved" to the Anglican Covenant.

It's just as restrictive and punitive.

Which has lead me to think some about the ideas of generosity and hope.

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that there is, in our present cultural environment, an atmosphere of free-floating anxiety. As if the economy and the unemployment rate weren't bad enough, we continue to be heavily engaged in two immoral wars which were initiated by the spark of outrage and an adolescent, testosterone-infused drive to avenge the events of 9/11, which was fanned by misinformation and flat-out lies about "weapons of mass destruction."

Every day, it seems, each political party sets up yet another "boogie man" for us to fear.

Pick and issue, any issue. While the Right is in 'Evil Empire' overdrive - from its Death Panel response to Health Care Reform to 'the Socialist Kenyan' in the Oval Office - the Left also has its own 'Wall Street hooligans' with their  'Sub-prime Mortgages' response to the economy.

Everywhere you look, there is a Darth Vader lurking just around the next corner. It's become a joke, parodied on SNL just the other night, with the "Gay Wedding Venue at the Mosque at Ground Zero." ("It could happen.")

Except, it's not so funny.

Everyone wants to hold on tight and then squeeze even tighter - especially their purse strings and wallets.

The tighter we hold on, the faster we seem to spiral down into further darkness and despair. There seems to be no way out. Or, up. Except to hold on until this horrible not-so-amusing ride comes to an end and the person in charge of the ride says it has come to an end and we can all get off.

In the words of that powerful documentary, we all seem to be "Waiting for Superman" to come rescue us from ourselves.

Is there no antidote, no anti-toxin, no inoculation one can take to guard us against this anxiety?

"Eat honey," goes the proverb, "for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste."

It continues, "Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, you will find a future, and your hope will not be cut off."

There is a wise old saying: "If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."

That's a good place to start.  But, it's just a beginning.

I believe there is great wisdom in generosity.

I know that the aphorism "If you always give, you will always have" sounds paradoxical, but I believe there is great wisdom in it.  Furthermore, I believe this wisdom is the antidote - the 'honey' - to the caustic brew of fear and primal rage that have combined to pollute our cultural environment.

I was thinking, just this morning, about a woman I knew when I was Vicar of St. Barnabas in the city of Newark. A single mom of three young sons, she kept an immaculate home in a third floor, two bedroom apartment the West Ward of a 'marginal' inner city neighborhood.

She lived simply. No car. No cable television. She shopped for clothes at the local Thrift Shops and was part of a food co-op sponsored by the Church. She organized many of the women in her neighborhood to share clothing and shoes and school supplies for their children.

She had no health care or dental benefits. No pension. Her "retirement plan" as she said, "Was to get to the finish line and not leave my sons in debt."

She was a nursing assistant in a local Extended Care Facility where she worked from 11 PM to 7 AM. Well, that's the job she held 40 hours a week. She also worked 20 hours a week as a teacher's aid at the school her sons attended. Her sister worked the evening 3 PM - 11 PM shift at the same ECF, and she and her mother would take turns spending the night with the boys so their mother could work.

She also "did hair" in her home every Saturday morning and sometimes, in the early evenings.

Oh, and she tithed to the church. Tithe. As in "one-tenth" of her income.  Her tithe was her pledge.

I remember having a conversation with her during "The Season of Stewardship" which left me embarrassed and humbled. After I gave her my "pitch," over tea and several slices of wonderful warm banana nut bread which she had just made, she showed me her finances.

She took out a file where she carefully kept all of her receipts - income and all of her expenses - along with a hand written budget which included line items such as "Education," "Winter," and "Illness".  There was also a line for "College". She really, really, really wanted to increase her pledge that year, she said, because she really, really, really wanted to support my leadership.

"My kids are learning in church school. They love serving as acolytes with you. I want to keep you here, " she said, "but, as you can see, my salary hasn't increased, and I'm not sure where to cut."

I assured her, over and over again, that she didn't need to increase her pledge. That it was not her responsibility to keep me in my job.  That, as a 'mission church', the diocese was also a partner in supporting that mission. That her pledge was a positive expression of her relationship with God, not something that was meant to be punitive or restrictive. That if there was any line item in her budget that she needed to increase, it was the educational and/or college fund for her sons.

Two weeks later, when her pledge return came in, I noted that she had, in fact, increased her pledge. I immediately called her up. "I decided that I really didn't need a new winter coat," she explained. Nothing I said, nothing I could do would dissuade her from her resolve.

"God has been good to me," she said, "by blessing me with these three beautiful sons, this good home, a few good jobs. I need to give back to God."

I argued with her that I didn't think God wanted her to sacrifice anything more than she was already sacrificing.

She sighed deeply and was silent for a long while.  Finally, she took a deep breath and said, "I don't need a coat. I need hope. You need hope. We all need hope. Supporting my family and my faith community gives me hope. Hope that the things I do today will make a difference tomorrow. A new coat won't give me that. I can do without a coat. I can't do without hope. Don't take away my hope."

I wept.

I should tell you that all three of her sons went on to graduate from college. One is a physician. One is an attorney. The other is a college professor.  All three are giving back to their community.

I don't need an Anglican Covenant. I have my Baptismal Covenant.

I don't need a "Pledge to America." I have the "Pledge of Allegiance" To the Flag.  Of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands. One nation. Under God. Indivisible. With Liberty. and Justice. For All.

I need to be more generous.  We all need to be more generous.

Because, I need hope. We all need hope.

And, I believe, acts of generosity - small and large - lay the walkway that forms a path to hope.

There is great wisdom in this paradox, the drippings of which are sweeter than honeycomb to the soul.  In it and through it, we will find a path to the future, and our hope will not be cut off.

Read more »

Last Saturday I posted an episode of ALMOST PERFECT. As (hopefully) a fun experiment, I thought today I would break down the thought process that went into it. This might be helpful to young writers learning how to construct stories and for non-writers it might be fun or a giant snooze. I’ll try to be funnier tomorrow. This episode was written by me, my partner David Isaacs, and co-creator Robin Schiff. Stan Daniels did a terrific job directing it.

If you haven’t watched it yet, you can see it here.

The core of the series was the relationship between Kim (Nancy Travis) and Mike (Kevin Kilner). She had a high-powered job as head writer of a TV cop show. He was an assistant DA. Watching Kim juggle her career and relationship was our money.

Perfect characters are no fun so we wanted to give Kim some flaws. She was good at her job but she was also a little narcissistic and bossy. So we wanted to do an episode where she went out of her way to do something for Mike and it was something very hard for her to do. We came up with cooking. She tries to make Mike’s favorite meal.

You might be thinking, gee that sounds like a simple story. You’re right. But that’s okay if it’s really about something. This wasn’t just watching Lucy fucking up a chicken, this was about an insecure person desperately trying to prove her worth in a relationship. And along the way there was fun to be had.

Two problems: One – we had to find a B story to involve the other characters since the cooking story was primarily just Mike & Kim at Kim’s house. And this all had to take place over one night. Ideally, we could use the B story to cover the passage of time while the chicken was cooking.

Earlier in the season our line producer Larina Adamson had uncovered some stock footage of a building blowing up. We could recreate the building, dress up a structure on the New York street and make it appear that we’re blowing it up. We thought that might serve us at some point and this was the point.

It’s always good to have conflict or rivalries between characters. One of the dynamics we set up between Kim and co-worker Gary (the brilliant Chip Zien) was that Gary resented Kim for getting the job he felt he deserved. To Gary, she got it because she’s a woman. He was the voice of anti-feminism, which was a nice balance to Kim’s pro-feminism stance.

Anyway, we thought what if Kim puts him in charge that night while she goes home and cooks? And on their cop show they have to blow up a building. He winds up supervising and accidentally gives the cue blowing up the building while the cameras are off. The actual brainchild for that story came from Mike Teverbaugh, who along with his wife Linda were INVALUABLE members of our staff. 

So we began plotting out the episode.

The objective of the first scene was to establish Mike’s appreciation of certain qualities Kim doesn’t possess. How about if they bump into an old flame? That would freak Kim out. But where do they meet? We decided it might be fun outside a movie theater. We establish that Kim loves gory horror movies and thinks romcoms are lame. Right away we see she’s not your usual moviegoer.

Mike’s old girlfriend passes by. We wished to avoid introductions, boring dialogue, etc. So we had Kim get a call while Mike was chatting with his old flame. This call achieved a second purpose. We set up there’s a big stunt to come and Kim is clearly in charge of all decisions.

Mike returns and Kim learns this girl had a high-powered job (like hers) but gave it up to raise her children. She’s very nurturing and a great cook – qualities that Kim lacks.

Scene two: That night. They’re in bed. Kim can’t sleep. Decides to cook his favorite meal. Ends the scene by saying, “Hunh, I must really like you.” For Kim making fried chicken is a big deal.

And this is important: your characters must really WANT something. The tougher the task and the more they want it, the better your story will be. Even if that desire is seemingly trivial.  For Kim this dinner isn’t just for pride. She believes in some warped sense her relationship depends on it.

Now we go to the office and set up for the audience what this stunt is and why it’s a big deal. Kim is dealing with the director and special effects guy. Again, she’s comfortably in charge. We also wanted the guys to razz Kim for trying to cook. This lets the audience know that this relatively simple task is Herculean for her.

Kim wouldn’t reveal her plans to them because she knows they would give her shit. That’s why Rob enters with the fax. At the end of the scene Kim puts Gary in charge for the night. He collapses on the ground. We wanted a funny reaction to this gesture. Gary mocks her, like she’s doing him such a favor when in fact he’s more qualified (in his mind) than she is.

Off to the kitchen. Kim struggling. But what attitude to take? Anxious and apprehensive seemed familiar. So went against that. Made her manic – masking her fears by getting a little silly. We also wanted to showcase Nancy’s comedic skills. Yeah, it’s a little slapstick but she’s very cute pulling this off. And we get a big joke when Mike enters and sees what she’s doing.

Back to the office. The director enters and says that due to impending rain they either have to do the stunt tonight or tomorrow as planned but hope for the best. Gary in charge now has a big decision. Tough decisions help drive stories. Gary opts to blow up the building that night.  His co-workers think he's making a big mistake.    Look, the audience KNOWS there's going to be some fuck up.  They just don't know what.  Hopefully you can exceed their expectations. 

We return to the kitchen. The chicken is done and looks great. They go to the dining room. This was fun for us because we had never used the dining room before. It gave the show a new look. Unfortunately, it was hard for the audience to see the dining room because it was way up in the set.  We had monitors but we knew we would not get the same response had the dining room been in full view.  Sometimes you have to make that choice -- studio audience or home audience?  We opted for the latter in this case.   Sometimes we forget that the show we're making is for the millions of viewers, not the two hundred people in the bleachers.

Back to the story:  The chicken is terrible and so are the mashed potatoes. More decisions: Does Kim give up or start again? Does Mike tell her to stop or let her go, knowing full well she can’t cook worth a shit? What these characters decide informs us of who they are. Kim will try again; Mike will support her.

Next up we go to the New York street. We have fun with Gary trying to be the big shot and the other two writers amused by it. Everyone in every scene has to have an attitude. Otherwise you’re just writing one-liners that feel very unreal and forced. I think we devised a pretty clever way for Gary to accidentally give the signal to blow up the building.  If a building exploding on a multi-camera sitcom isn't an act break, I don't know what is. 

Come back and see the rubble. Instead of making Gary suddenly panicky and fall apart we thought it would be more fun to see him try to maintain control. Again, a character has to make a big choice. Meltdown of salvage the situation somehow? Sheer damage control mode seemed more ripe for comic possibilities.

Back to Kim’s house. We return to the kitchen.  Having had one scene in the dining room we didn't want to push our luck.  And when we get to the important stuff we want to do it within easy view of the audience.  Kim's next batch is black. We wanted to avoid seeing any more of her cooking. We've already been to that well. Kim calls Mike’s mother, which has to be a tough and humiliating call to make. Yet she does it because this means so much to her.  Plus it helps set up a future episode where Mikes' mom thinks Kim is a dingbat.

Back to set to watch Gary’s solution. It sucks. Should he call Kim? He still resists and tries coming up with alternate solutions.

Back to the kitchen. Mike finally puts a stop to this. We have a nice scene where they really delve into their relationship and what the future might hold. Choice on our part: there are not a lot of jokes. The discussion feels real and relatable to a lot of people so we just let it play out naturally. Finally Gary calls.

Last scene – back to the set. Kim and Gary. We see that even in crisis she’s cool and in control. She comes up with a solution on the spot, which is a talent every bit as remarkable as cooking fried chicken – and instead of taking Gary’s head off she comforts him. Would a man in that position be as compassionate? Gary is grateful and gains a little more respect for Kim.  

David, Robin, and I wrote this over a weekend after plotting it out with the staff for several days. The writing went quickly because we knew what each scene was about and why it was there. We had comic situations and attitudes already built in. I also had one of my wife’s cookbooks since none of us knew how to make fried chicken either. “Colonial pine stain” comes right from that recipe.

One final note: The power of suggestion – after writing the first few cooking scenes we broke for lunch and had to go to Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles for fried chicken.

And now that I write this, I’m getting in the car and heading right back to Roscoe’s.

Read more »

MAD MEN has been exceptional this year! But what is with those “factoids” they introduced this week leading into commercials and promos? What’s next? Pop Up Videos?

Joan: I can go alone.
Roger: You sure you don’t want me to drive you?
Joan: No, I’m fine.

BLIP! This appears:

“Colorado was the first state to legalize abortions”.

Don: Sally, I have two tickets to see the Beatles.
Sally screams.

BLIP

“The Beatles performed at Shea Stadium in August 1965 and Mets players complained about the resulting condition of the outfield.”

These are the kinds of extras I guess you can expect on the DVD.

Read more »

Have you seen BLUE BLOODS starring Tom Selleck?   This is a new one hour police drama on CBS created by a couple of SOPRANOS scribes.   Just the type of show I never watch unless other people tell me it's great and I have to watch it. (meaning I'll probably never see the Jim Belushi lawyer show.)

But I saw that BLUE BLOODS got big numbers on Friday night.   The odds of any show doing really well on Friday nights are the same as being hit by a meteor just moments after winning the lottery.  Clearly the attraction was Tom Selleck.

So when it was rerun last night (Saturday is now the networks' dumping ground) I checked it out.

I guess when audiences like you they just like you.  Because I have never seen an actor phone it in as much as Selleck did in this.   He did NOTHING.  In the few scenes he's in he never moves. Worse than NEWHART when Bob used to just stand at the front desk and let everyone else just come in and out. 

These were Tom’s scenes:

He’s at a podium (never moves).
He’s standing with his family (never moves).
He’s at the window of his office (never moves).
He’s at his desk making a call (never moves).
He’s conducting a press conference (never moves).
He’s at the kitchen sink (never moves).
He’s sitting at the dining room table (never moves).
He’s fishing off a pier (never moves).

There’s one scene where he opens a cab door for a woman and leans in to give her a quick kiss. I imagine they used a stunt double.

As for dialogue, he delivers every line the exact same way – as if he’s constipated.

And yet America just loves this guy. I was a fan in other things. But in MAGNUM P.I. he had actual expressions and walked.

I see no reason to watch future episodes of BLUE BLOODS. Why bother when I can just scan the stills?

But it’s a real lesson in television programming. There are just some actors people love to watch, regardless.

If only Tom Selleck was in LONE STAR or FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS.

Read more »

Seems I’m not the only one on Blogger up in arms over their new posting operating system. Pictures in particular are now a nightmare to load. There are bugs galore in this new system. (Who do they hire to diligently test these things? Guys being chased by bounty hunters? )

And then I have the added tiny problem that I’m a computer retard.

To be clear:  If I'm on Firefox I can't upload pictures.  It just keeps saying server error.  I can on Safari but it's very unwieldy. 

First thing I did was try to find Blogger tech help. Good luck. If such a thing even does exist I suspect it’s easier to find Osama Bin Laden than their phone number. Or an email address. Or someone who has a cousin who has a friend who once was in the lobby of Google.

I clicked on Blogger Help. This takes me to FAQs and instructions on how to add ads.

Next I sought out forums. This meant sifting through thousands of people with problems. Everything from why did my blog disappear to how come the comments I get are really stupid?

I was heartened to see though that many other poor schmucks were having my problem.  But since there’s no tech help per se who reads these other than other frustrated bloggers? It has the same feel as “letters to Santa”.

The theory of course is that people ask questions and others answer. But this is what I found: Someone reports a problem and there are seven replies all saying “Yeah, me too.” And below each one a little icon that asks if this answer was helpful or not. Uh.. NO.

But every so often a helpful person will try to offer a solution. And here’s where that retard issue I have holds me back a little – I have no fucking clue what they are saying! An example: Someone was complaining that with this new ersatz system they were having trouble displaying photos side by side. And a good Samaritan offered this answer:

Okay, by the second < >  I raced down to the liquor store and became Nicholas Cage in LEAVING LAS VEGAS, just going through the aisles filling a shopping cart.

Hopefully this photo loading problem will be resolved. Hopefully, Blogger even knows it exists. They could monitor the help forum but I’m taking no chances. There’s this blog post and I’ll probably mention it six or seven times today on Dodger Talk.

This is very serious.   I'd like to think readers come to this blog for the content.  But I'm not an idiot.  They come for the photos.

Read more »

Read more »

Life "below the canal" in the First State of Delaware is very different, I'm told. It's even more different in the lower, slower part of Delaware - further away from the canal and closer to the ocean and bay.

One way you can tell is by looking at the political advertisements along the road. For example, there are not a lot of campaign ads for Christine O'Donnell around Wilmington and Newark, which is New Castle County. It starts to change around Dover, as as you go through Kent County. In Sussex County, the largest county in the state -  which is where I live - you practically trip over signs for O'Donnell.

There are probably lots of reasons for that which are not necessarily indicators of support so much as they indicate a market base potential. Or, at least one that is anticipated by the O'Donnell Campaign.

Judging by the conversations I'm having with my neighbors and overhearing in the supermarkets, coffee shops, gas stations and convenience stores, the O'Donnell folks are in for a huge surprise on November 2.

I think we're all miscalculating the power of the internet to communicate information better than FOX, CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS or the BBC - and the intelligence of people to seek out their own education on the political candidates.

Just the other day, one of the folks at the supermarket was talking about a website he had found, "Think Progress". Said they had gathered up all the things Ms. O'Donnell had said over the years and posted them, citing the original source of the comment.

"Well," he said, "some of the things I agree with. You know, I think we should hold up a standard for sex inside of marriage. Don't mean everybody's gonna uphold that standard - God knows, I didn't (and wipe that smile off your face Vernon, cuz you know the same is true about you) - but you can't argue that it's a good standard."

Everyone giggled at his joke, but agreed with his premise.

"But," he continued, "this little lady carries things to an extreme. She says that allowing kids to have condoms is like legalizing drunk driving. And, that distributing condoms to folks in Africa is only going to spread AIDS."

He cleared his throat and said, "Now, you could argue that kids ought not have condoms because of some study or another about the harmful effects of having sex too soon. And, you could argue that condoms are not a 100% guarantee against preventing AIDS or the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS - or, for that matter, pregnancy. We got facts and figures that prove that."

"This woman doesn't seem to care about facts. Seems to me she just wants to stir up the people and grab a headline or two. Well, she's doing that, but she ain't got my vote. We got to send HER a message that we are angry, but we're not stupid."

I went over to Think Progress and found the page he was referencing. It's called "The Old Adventures of New Christine". I understood exactly what he meant.

A former parishioner sent me an essay written by Peggy Noonan who writes for the Washington Post. She called it "The Enraged vs. The Exhausted" which was her political rift on a comment made by an African American woman to the President during a CNN "Town Hall" meeting last Monday.

The woman, named Velma Hart, "lobbed a grenade" when she said,

"I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm an American veteran, and I'm one of your middle-class Americans. And quite frankly I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted of defending you, defending your administration, defending the mantle of change that I voted for, and deeply disappointed with where we are." She said, "The financial recession has taken an enormous toll on my family." She said, "My husband and I have joked for years that we thought we were well beyond the hot-dogs-and-beans era of our lives. But, quite frankly, it is starting to knock on our door and ring true that that might be where we are headed."

Ms. Noonan, like a shark who smells blood on the water, moves in for the kill:

"What a testimony. And this is the president's base. He got that look public figures adopt when they know they just took one right in the chops on national TV and cannot show their dismay. He could have responded with an engagement and conviction equal to the moment. But this was our president—calm, detached, even-keeled to the point of insensate. He offered a recital of his administration's achievements: tuition assistance, health care. It seemed so off point. Like his first two years.

But it was the word Mrs. Hart used that captured everything: "exhausted." From what I see, that's how a lot of Democrats feel. They've turned silent, too, like people who witnessed a car crash and can't talk anymore about the reasons for the accident or how many were injured.

This election is more and more shaping up into a contest between the Exhausted and the Enraged.

The other fascinating part of her essay is her take on the emerging role of (Republican) women in our political life in general and this political campaign in particular. She quotes Rep. Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee who reports that at tea party events in the past 18 months, she started to notice "60% of the crowd is women."

Ms. Noonan continues:

The media called 1994 "the year of the angry white male." That was the year of the Republican wave that yielded a GOP House for the first time in 40 years. "I look at this year as the Rage of the Bill-Paying Moms," Ms. Blackburn says. "They are saying 'How dare you, in your arrogance, cap the opportunities my child will have? You'll burden them with so much debt they won't be able to buy a house—all because you can't balance the budget.'"

And, with that, Ms. Blackburn has effectively moved us from 'anger' to 'rage', which I think comes closer to the truth. Images of an angry Momma bear guarding her cubs at the entrance to the cave begin to emerge for me. 

This is primal stuff, folks, emerging from the reptilian brain found at the base of the skull, which emerges from the spinal column. The basic ruling emotions of love, hate, fear, lust, and contentment emanate from this first stage of the brain. Over millions of years of evolution, layers of more sophisticated reasoning have been added upon this foundation. It's our intellectual capacity for complex rational thought which has made us theoretically smarter than the rest of the animal kingdom.

Allow me, please, to put emphasis on the "theoretically" part of the "smarter".

I'm betting Ms. Blackburn does not believe in evolution. Like Ms. O'Donnell, she probably believes that,

". . .too many people are blindly accepting evolution as fact. But when you get down to the hard evidence, it’s merely a theory. … Well, creationism, in essence, is believing that the world began as the Bible in Genesis says, that God created the Earth in six days, six 24-hour periods. And there is just as much, if not more, evidence supporting that.” [New York Magazine, 9/15/10].

That's not exactly reptilian brain stuff, but it's down there, right next to it, fueling the rage and blocking the more sophisticated ability for complex reasoning.

I like Peggy Noonan. She's a good writer. I disagree with about 97% of what flows out of her laptop, but I can't deny that she's a very good writer.  Sometimes, even she disagrees with herself - which she has done about her initial writing about Sarah Palin - which is another reason I like her. We may disagree, by she has integrity.

While I'm sure there are some elements of her thesis that are correct, I think she confuses the exhaustion we all feel about the grinding realities of the recession with the weariness many of us are experiencing of  the relentless message of the doomsday, apocalyptic, fear-based, anxiety-driven nay-sayers of the "Just Say No" Republican political base.

It's rather like watching weary parents in a grocery store stand by as their two year old have a tantrum in the aisle because they can't get what they want. 

I think Ms. Noonan and her conservative Republican friends seriously - perhaps, hopefully - underestimate the energy that is aroused in people across the board when folk feel their intelligence is being insulted.

Many people were "exhausted" by 30 years of Reganomics which came to the ludicrous, painful conclusion in the Bush Administration. These were the same people who were "energized" by the Obama Campaign and its slogan, "Yes We Can" and voted him into office.

Many of those people saw Obama as a messiah of sorts - come to swoop down and magically cure all the ills and problems this country was facing - two immoral wars, an economic system that was starting to implode itself after a pig-fest of greed and corruption, an educational system that excelled in mediocrity, a health care system that was dis-eased. I could go on and on and on.

That was wrong, too, of course.  Childish hope, like childish rage, can lead to childish expectations and behaviors.  Didn't Obama say, "We are the ones we've been waiting for"?

Not "me".  "We".

There are people who are so blinded by their anger and rage, they allow the radical, fundamentalist Christian sects in this country to promote the movement to "take back our country" and make it, once again, dominated by white, straight affluent men who are blinded by their own ambitions of power.

We have our own Christian Taliban with our very own Mullahs, Muezzin, Sahibs, Ayatollahs and Muftis. Just turn to Fox News to catch a few of those who inspire poor, benighted people like the pastor in Florida who inspired others to burn the sacred texts of another religion as an expression of being a "real" American.

We have misguided, angry modern-day "Nimrods" like Jim DeMint of South Carolina - a member of "The Family" on C-Street in DC - who want to avenge their grandfathers by building modern-day Towers of Babel as a way to create monuments to their own power and not God's.

There are other people whose anger has opened their eyes wide to these realities. We're weary of it all, but, Ms. Noonan's assertions notwithstanding, we are not exhausted.

We may be angry, but we're not stupid.  And, we're registered voters.

When given the options put up by "King Markers" like Jim DeMint and Sarah Palin, we'll show up at the polls and vote - just like we did when the options were McCain and Palin.

If we don't, we'll get what we deserve: a government led by anger and rage, which never insures "liberty and justice for all." It will be, instead, a government of "just us" - white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants - whose idea of liberty is all bound up with images of an angry, punitive, judging God.

Anger and extremism have their role and function in society. Anger can be a force for energy, which is needed to break the stronghold of apathy that's had its grip on this country for so long.   Anger can serve to be a "shofar" - blowing the trumpet to call the community to be awake and aware.

Circle Tuesday, November 2nd on your calendar.  Do it right now. You have nothing more important on your calendar to do that day than to vote. Trust me on this.

Between now and then, get angry enough to open your eyes and educate yourself about the issues and the candidates.

Because, as my friend in the grocery store says, "We're angry, but we're not stupid."

Read more »

Assuming I uploaded this right, here's another episode of ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. It's called "El Pollo Loco" and it's one of my favorite episodes. Come back on Monday and I'll discuss the process that went into breaking the story, orchestrating the big stunt, and what we were attempting to accomplish. It's just like being in the writers room without anyone attacking you.

One thing: I still don't know how to edit so it starts with black and doesn't start until about 30 seconds in. But the good news is -- shortened blacks during commercial breaks!

Read more »

With the Comcast merger Jeff Zucker departs NBC after completely destroying it.   As head of programming he took NBC from first to deep fourth.  Normally that would be grounds for dismissal.  No.  Jeff became the CEO.  From there he further buried the network, hiring the character Will Arnett plays in RUNNING WILDE to run NBC.   Then there's the whole Leno in primetime disaster followed by the Conan trainwreck.   And along the way he managed to alienate everyone he dealt with with his incredible arrogance.

Job well done, Jeff.

And now you're free to run BP oil.

Read more »

This is Sheila.

She is one of the more than two dozen or so Snowy White Egrets who are part of my neighborhood.

Well, Sheila is what I call her. Her family may call her something else. God knows her name by heart.

She appears at my dock in the early morning. In the mid-afternoon, she appears in my side yard, which you see above.

Sometimes, she appears with her mate, whom I call 'Harvey'.

It was Rosh Hashanah. I found myself singing 'Hava nagila' around the house. 'Harvey and Sheila' was probably inspired by that.

Or, maybe I'm thinking of Alan Sherman's modern parody of that old folk song.

She is very graceful - especially so, given the awkward shape of her body. Her legs are incredibly long, as is her beak. And yet, she moves and walks and flies with great, effortless beauty.

I love it when she stretches her neck and throws back her shoulders, looking around my front yard as if it were the grounds of her royal palace.

Sometimes, it simply takes my breath away.

My curiosity about egrets and herons has lead me to learn that they are monogamous. They mate for life. Indeed, the male apparently gathers the material for the nest and the female builds it. There's something about that which appears to my sense of egalitarianism.

Harvey and Sheila. Partners in life. Together forever. Without the blessing of the institutional church.

According to Greek mythology, egrets and herons were thought to be messengers of the gods. My curiosity about that leads me to question why she comes to me every day - twice a day - to the same spots in my yard.

I've been sitting with that question, that wonderment, for a few days now. I don't have an answer, and I suppose I won't for a while, but I view it as a good 'sign' that, in this time of discernment, I should have a new 'spiritual friend' and companion in this journey.

Actually, I've been thinking about the term 'Be Tipul'. It's a Hebrew word for 'in treatment', which is also the name of an award-winning Israeli television drama created by Hagai Levi.

The program has been adapted for audiences in the United States, Serbia and the Netherlands. In the US, it's an HBO series called, interestingly enough, "In Treatment" - one of my favorites.

Being in a season of discernment is much like being 'in treatment'. The first is a matter for the soul. The second is a matter for the mind. Both processes lead to the heart as they overlap and sometimes intertwine with each other.

At the core of both expressions of these two sacred pieces of work are the relationships that give meaning and depth - and so, challenges - to our lives.

Sometimes, understanding the psychology of a relational dynamic helps us understand our relationship with God. At other times, it's our relationship with God - often as understood in our relationship with Jesus - that helps us to reflect on and understand the psychological dynamics of our relationship in a new way.

I remember hearing Carter Heyward once say that our most intimate relationships are a reflection of our relationship with God - and our relationship with God is often reflected in our intimate relationships with others.

I'm discovering new depths to the profound wisdom and truth of that idea every day.

As I watch Sheila pick over the crusts of bread I've left for her among the pebbles in the yard, I realize that I am doing pretty much the same thing - sorting through what to take, what is going to feed and nourish me, and what to leave behind.

Through it all, Sheila is graceful. She gently moves pebbles around with her beak, her long neck stretching in a lovely, long, slow arch. She is not so preoccupied with her task that she isn't aware of what's going on around her. She is clearly alert for any sign of predators or danger, but she remains calm, centered, focused on the task before her.

She is also generous, often taking a crust or two of bread back to her nest to share with her mate or her young.

Sometimes, Harvey joins her. To my amazement, they never squabble over the bread they find, unlike the gulls who squawk and fuss and fight. The gulls always make me giggle, when they don't disgust me. Their cries sounding very much like the gulls in the film, Finding Nemo: "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!" (As the character Nigel says to them,"Oh, would you just shut up! You're rats with wings!").

Harvey and Sheila share their find with each other, sometime gently feeding each other from their bills. It's a beautiful sight - one that sometimes, in moments when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable or worn out, reduces me to tears.

I recently remembered that 'hava nagila' means "Let us rejoice!" It's often sung at Jewish weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. The last line,'Hava nagila v'nismeḥa', means 'let us rejoice and be happy!"

Which, like discernment and being in treatment, are two different things which, when they intertwine, can lead to a deeper experience of both.

When I see Harvey and Sheila out there in my front yard, I find myself singing 'hava nagila' sometime later in the day.

It reminds me of my favorite scene from "Finding Nemo".

Dory says to Marlin, who is trying to find his son, "Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?"

Marlin, disheartened about the failure of their task thus far says, "No, I don't wanna know."

Dory, starts to sing, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim."

So, I just keep doing what I know how to do: Listen. Learn. Sort. Take and eat what's good. Leave behind the rest. Receive with gratitude the kindness of strangers. Share generously what I have with others. Be mindful of signs of danger, but stay focused on the task at hand. Try to be graceful. Return to your nest when your work is done.

And, sing - especially in those moments when my soul is troubled, my mind is confused and my heart is broken.

It's the best treatment I know for this season of discernment.

I think the ancient Greeks may have gotten it right. Harvey and Sheila may be Snowy White Egrets - only two of the more than two dozen who live here - but they are bringing me powerful messages from God.

It is the call of the Spirit of Jesus, our Rabbi and Resurrected Christ. It is the song that was sung by the cosmos at our birth. It is the song we take even to the grave:

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Let us rejoice and be happy!

Read more »

Here are some Friday questions.

sophomorecritic starts us off:

You mostly see yourself as a writer and TV producer. At the same time, you've directed but you seem rather non-chalante about it. How many steps were you away in training and experience from being the kind of director that gets nominated for Oscars and gets recognition for a distinct style. For example, if the same exact production team existed but you were substituted in for Danny Boyle, Sophia Coppolla or Martin Scorsese, do you think you could have directed Lost in Translation, The Departed or Slumdog Millionaire and got close to the same result?

Are you kidding? Have you ever seen one of my CONRAD BLOOMS?? Those guys are HACKS!!

But seriously, no. They are all extraordinary directors. I couldn't hold Scorsese's viewfinder.

I will say this, though, from a technical standpoint: Although I have shot single-camera scenes, most of the time I direct multi-camera shows. It's quite tricky camera blocking four cameras all moving at once to capture all the action, all the angles, reactions, masters, and sizes, not to mention having cameras move in anticipation of characters entering the scene. And sometimes you have large scenes. Five or six actors, lots of movement, and only four cameras to cover it all on the fly. It can be very complicated and daunting.

Seasoned veterans in both forms seem to agree a multi-camera director can be taught how to direct single-camera in about a half hour. On the other hand, single camera directors sometimes need months to get the hang of multi-camera. So if Scorsese wanted to do a CONRAD BLOOM I still could whip his sorry ass.

From Matt:

Several of the MASH scripts in my collection contain the Call Sheet and Shooting Schedules. On the shooting schedule, I've noticed under "Cast. & Atmos." an item called "Mini Mash"

Is this a reference to the Stage 9 set?

Yes. We had the entire camp set up on that stage. Once Daylight Savings ended we stopped filming at the Malibu ranch. There was just not enough daylight to accomplish all the scenes we needed to film. In the summer we had 6 AM to 8:15 PM. But in the winter our window was 7 AM to 4:30 PM.

So if exteriors still were needed we shot them on Stage 9. Did it look great? No. Maybe one notch above the Brady Bunch backyard.

Night scenes looked better. Dark is dark.

In planning the season, we held back the episodes that did not require much outdoor shooting and moved forward the ones that did. And that made plotting out the season that much tougher. We might break a great story but have to sit on it while scrambling last second to get the script ready that was going into production the next day.

And finally, from Michael:

Is there a strong correlation between the episodes you wrote that you feel are your strongest and the ones that were nominated for Emmys?

Not necessarily. I do think the scripts that were nominated deserved to be, but there were others that I felt were as good or better that didn’t get any real recognition.

Of all the CHEERS we wrote I feel our best was called “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before”. That was the Frasier bachelor party episode (“Everybody have fun tonight… everybody Wang Chung tonight.”). I’m especially proud of that one because we worked off no outline. As an experiment we wanted to just riff and see where it took us. We knew the broad steps but nothing else. I think it came out great.

There’s a TONY RANDALL SHOW we wrote where Tony runs for office against the old incumbent. During the campaign Tony’s opponent dies and still beats him. It was a very funny show.

The best FRASIER we ever wrote – “Room Service” (Niles sleeps with Lilith) – never got nominated for anything. There were also a few episodes of ALMOST PERFECT that David and I wrote with Robin Schiff that I felt were nomination worthy.

But generally, unless you write for what we like to call a “tuxedo show”, your chances of getting a nod are slim. That is why we thought our agent was kidding when she said we had been nominated for a WGA award for one of our OPEN ALL NIGHT’S. By the time of the ceremony the show had been cancelled and the production company disbanded. We had to buy our own tickets and find someplace to sit. No, we didn’t win. The Guild wasn’t that crazy.

But I will say this, all the drafts we submitted, whether they were rewarded or not, were at least 90% ours. Lots of shows room-write and just assign credits. Others rewrite scripts extensively and keep the original writer’s name on it even though there’s nothing left of his work. There have been times in our career when teleplays we wrote were rewritten and sometimes even made better. But we never submitted those. So I’m proud to say that the awards we lost, we lost because of us.

What is your question?

Read more »

It’s only the first week of the new season but so far comedy has not kicked ass. Last year was a banner bounce-back season for the genre. Freshman shows like MODERN FAMILY and GLEE became breakout hits and others like COUGAR TOWN and THE MIDDLE at least managed to grab a toehold. I haven’t seen all the new entries this year but so far things are not looking good – either creatively or ratingswise.

And understand, I’m really rooting for these guys. I want to see sitcoms come back in a big way. But so far I’ve been disappointed. Doubly so because the creative teams behind many of these new series have turned out great work before.

So far, if there's one common denominator it's that all of these new shows seem to be making ass-fun of easy targets – overweight people, white trash, senility, the silly rich.

I love Chuck Lorre’s BIG BANG THEORY. But MIKE & MOLLY is just awful. Fat jokes, fart jokes, stock cartoon side characters, and two leads who are very likeable but not particularly funny. We see two fat people wedged in a stairway, tables collapsing under the weight of the star. Lip service is paid to the plight of overweight people then they ask one to say, “Lose three pounds? My farts weigh more than three pounds”. You don’t have to be Noel Coward but Jesus, come on guys.

The premiere numbers weren’t great. They didn’t hold as much of TWO MEN’S audience as everyone would have liked, and my guess is their numbers will slide.

RAISING HOPE is a knockoff of RAISING ARIZONA. Greg Garcia is one of my favorite writers and Martha Plimpton is an amazing actress, but this show felt like all the white trash jokes they couldn’t get to on MY NAME IS EARL they jammed in here. Not to mention a plethora of old age dementia jokes. Cloris Leachman parading around in just a bra. There should be a whole separate TV warning letter for that. Maybe "Y". "This show is rated "Y" for excessive amount of times you'll say 'yikes'!"

And watching RUNNING WILDE from Mitch Hurwitz (who gave us the inspired ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) was like watching Willie Mays be a greeter in Atlantic City. First off, and I realize this may just be me, but I don’t get Will Arnett. For me he is not funny for a second. Never real. Always over-the-top. Always playing the same character. As for the subject matter, just contrast how Mitch Hurwitz treats an aimless rich boy vs. what Steve Gordon did with the same character in ARTHUR. One is crass, ridiculous, and you don’t give a shit about him. The other is hilarious, sympathetic, and surprisingly real.

Neither show did well for Fox. HOPE dropped off 50% in key demos from it's strong lead-in, GLEE. WILDE did worse. Of course, nothing is doing well for Fox. Heavily-promoted LONE STAR was a disaster. Their schedule could be in trouble. And I don't think J-Lo is going to save it.

Tonight we have OUTSOURCED on NBC, which according to scuttlebutt is a half hour of Apu jokes. There are also the two romantic comedies that are essentially the same show. We’ll see how they fare.

And I haven’t seen *! &!” MY FATHER SAID on CBS. But I heard somewhere that a lot of DVR’S can’t read all the symbols in the title so you can’t pre-record it. And if that’s the case, then they are in deep *! &!”. Reviews have not been kind.

Shows often take time to find their groove. It’s not really fair to judge a series based strictly on their pilot. They may all still turn it around. Of the three, I think RAISING HOPE has the best chance. With Greg Garcia at the helm I’m willing to keep coming back. But only if Cloris is dressed.

And there’s always the back-up series. Maybe the next GLEE or MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (non-Fall premieres) will be in that crop. I don’t know. But I do know this: producers of those shows are being asked to get them ready to air FAST. That can't be a good sign.

Read more »