Publication: National Examiner
Date: 8 August 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell, Al Gore! Since the story is about the divorce, you would think the headline would be "Al and Tipper Gore's weird divorce deal", but the low rent Examiner does not mention her.

This is the only the first time Al has been on the cover of a tabloid in 2011, but the 11th time he has been mentioned in the tabloids in the past two years, nowhere near as popular as Barack Obama or Bill Clinton, but more times than George W. Bush, which means he's still beating Bush in the popular vote.

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Publications: OK!, In Touch, Us Weekly, National Enquirer
Date: 8 August 2011

The stories this week about The Bachelorette either focus on Ashley or on J.P. Here are the headlines about her.

• National Enquirer: Bachelorette was rigged!
  Ashley's fake script and tears
• Us Weekly: Bachelorette Exclusive: Ashley says yes!
  

And the ones about J.P.

• OK!: The Bachelorette: J.P.'s secrets revealed
• In Touch: JP's secret double life
  Ashley fooled again!
  He's still madly in love with his ex, Stephanie
  A shocking celeb hook-up
  The real reason he went on the show
  Why marrying him could be Ashley's worst mistake ever!
  

This is why the gossip rags love the reality shows. They can write whatever they want without fear of losing access.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 8 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Now that her TV show is ending, it's up in the air how much the gossip rags will care about Oprah Winfrey. Still, with this story she climbs back into the list of the Top Ten celebrities in the gossip rags, with almost all the stories in the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner. Here are this week's headlines.

• As her empire collapses Oprah betrayed!
• Her fury as Stedman spends afternoon with hot blonde!

"Hot blonde" is pictured but not named, and she does look good.

I see another camping trip in Oprah and Gayle's future.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 1 August 2011

OK! is following up on their story from two weeks ago that Brad Pitt is flirting with some woman on the set of World War Z, a movie he is filming in Malta. She is an assistant and not an actress and it's allegedly causing a kerfuffle. Even at the OK! website, she does not have a name. Here are the new headlines.

• Angie can't take it: Brad's mystery woman!
• Shocking new photos inside
• They flaunt their happiness in public
• What she did to win Brad's trust
• Why Brad can't stop seeing her
  

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Publication: In Touch
Date: 1 August 2011

Once again, there is trouble in the BrAngelina relationship, as they are fighting over Shiloh.

It's always something with these two, isn't it?

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Publications: People, OK!, Weekly Life & Style, In Touch, Star, Us Weekly, National Enquirer
Date: 1 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Easily the biggest story of the week is the divorce of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony with mentions on seven of ten supermarket rag covers. Here are the headlines.

• People: : J. Lo and Marc Anthony: Their marriage explodes
  The real story
  Their constant fighting
  rumors of infidelity
  jealousy issues
  what's next?
• OK!: J Lo's divorce shocker!
  Marc's been seeing his sexy ex-wife!
• In Touch: J. Lo's agony
  Marc's jealous rage
• Star: Inside J. Lo's bitter $250 million divorce
  Sexless nights
  Other women, other men
  Final screaming match
• Weekly Life & Style: $300 M divorce
  The cheating rumors that tore them apart
• Us Weekly: Cheating and Lies
  Her side of the story
  Marc caught with stewardess
  Screaming fights about flirting with costars
  A secret e-mail to Ben Affleck
  His desperate need to control her
• National Enquirer: J. Lo caught!
  Did this photo end their marriage?
  

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Publication: Globe
Date: 25 July 2011

Only the two supermarket rags that have the lion's share of Hey Old Timer Gossip, the Globe and the low rent Examiner, think Regis Phiblin is a source of hot dish. This time it's the Globe who says their is a tell-all book, for which someone will be paid $10 million. It isn't clear on the cover whether he is the author or someone is ratting on him. Here are the headlines.

• Divorce bombshell
• Other women
• How he nearly died - THREE TIMES
• Inside: Shocking truth about Kathie Lee
  

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Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 July 2011

Ever since Clinton, the gossip rags have loved writing that the presidential marriage is in trouble, especially the Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, Michelle has had enough and she is now living a life apart from Barack Hussein Lothario Obama.

The low rent Examiner and the Sun are the only two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter that don't have online versions. This is because both are made on the cheap. Still, we are supposed to believe the low rent Examiner is able to dig up scoops on two of the best protected people on the planet.

The Sun only expects us to believe in the End of the World about six times a year and there's a Bat Boy who was found in a cave.

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Publication: Star
Date: 25 July 2011

Does there have to be a Jennifer Aniston story every single week? No, there isn't some contractual obligation or anything, but it sure seems like there is one anyway. This week Star claims an exclusive that Justin Theroux went and saw his ex recently.

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Publications: In Touch, OK!
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Teen Mom nonsense abides. I report with no further comment.

• OK!: Maci & Kyle Split: She's still in loved with Ryan
• In Touch: Teen Mom dating disasters!
  In love with cheaters, druggies and a killer!
  Leah: Since Corey left, she's hooking up with three different guys!
  Farrah: Can't stop crying over new violent bad boy
  Maci: Wedding on hold! Why her ex Ryan is to blame
  
  

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Publication: Star
Date: 19 July 2011

The Star has stories of three celebrity marriages in trouble taking up most of the cover this week. Here are the headlines.


Katy Perry pain: Living apart from Russell After Only 8 months


Shock for Demi Moore: Ashton's Night With Nude Model


Ben Affleck Busted: His Boozing, Lies & Gambling - Jen Garner's Fury

Welcome to gossip hell 2011, Jen Garner! This is the first mention of her in a year and a half, and the first mention of Ben Affleck in 2011.

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Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

The cover of the Star is dominated by three divorce stories mentioned in the post just above this one, but they also have a teaser for another story about Hollywood divorce lawyers spilling their secrets about other clients. There is no artwork with this story because it's a "Guess who?" kind of deal. Here are the headlines.

• Cross-Dressing!
• Caught with the Nanny!
• Murder by Hit Man
• & more shocking secrets!
  

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Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Megan Fox doesn't have any movies coming out this year and in general the gossip rags have ignored her this year since her marriage, so it's a little odd she has two completely different stories about her this week. While Star says she's a botox abuser, OK! says her marriage which is barely a year old is already in crisis and she and hubby Brian Austin Green are fighting to save it.

Quick tip: If you are fighting, it likely isn't the best way to save it.

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Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Yet again, rumors of trouble in the BrAngelina relationship make the front cover of an American supermarket rag. Brad is shooting World War Z, a movie about the world after a zombie apocalypse is averted, and OK! says he was allegedly "intimate" with a woman on the set, who gets in a picture on the cover but is not named.

Angelina is so upset she has stopped the wedding, an event she has never confirmed is going to happen in the first place.

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Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 11 July 2011

Us tells it readers about the "shocking split!" between Lauren Conrad and her longtime boyfriend Kyle Howard. The headline reads "She believed Kyle was The One, but after three years and no ring, Conrad finally got the courage to say goodbye."

I had kinda sorta heard of her, but I had no idea who he was and I still don't.

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Publication: People
Date: 11 July 2011

The season of the Bachelor starring this guy Brad last aired in March, but it was still a prime story in the supermarket rags in April and May, then mercifully ignored in June. Now that the new season of the Bachelorette is airing, I thought we might go back to those happy days when "Brad" meant Brad Pitt, but no such luck. People felt the need to repeat what everyone was saying two months ago, that the fake romance on the fake TV show was just a sham and now it's over.

Here are the headlines.

• Why I left Brad
  Reeling from the split Emily Maynard reveals how their romance went so wrong, so fast
  Brad admits: "It's all my fault"

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Publications: Star, People
Date: 11 July 2011

The supermarket rags comment on the break-up of George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis, which was announced last week. Here are the headlines.

• People: George Clooney single again
• Star: George and Elisabetta: X-rated scandal before split

You will notice the somewhat positive spin from People and the salacious take from Star. There is the difference in the magazines in a nutshell.

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Publication: Globe
Date: 11 July 2011

If we were to accept the word from the AMI kennel, Michelle Obama is constantly in a raging bad mood, the American equivalent of Camilla Parker-Bowles. Here are the headlines.

• Hates life in the White House
• Shocking fights with Prez
  

On their website, they add the detail that she is moving out and taking the girls back to Chicago with her.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 July 2011

Chris Hansen, the guy from To Catch A Predator who videotapes men coming into homes with the hope of sweet talking some underaged girl into bed, has been caught on videotape sweet talking a woman past age of consent, but said woman is not his wife. Unlike most stories in the supermarket rags, this one has gained traction quickly in the mainstream press and qualifies as Scoop of the Week.

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Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 July 2011

The Flagship takes up most of the cover trashing the marriages if entertainers. One couple is making their first visit to the front pages, another is making only its second visit and first inkling there is trouble, and the third one is no surprise at all.

Welcome to gossip hell, Bruce Boxleitner and Melissa Gilbert! Just for a change of pace, the headline "All Melissa's Dirty Secrets & Lies!" makes it look like the wife is to blame.

This is also the first gossip rag mention of Tim McGraw and Faith Hill have a "troubled marriage".


And last but certainly least in terms of the surprise factor, we have "Maria's Plan to destroy Arnold forever".

Best of luck, hon.

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