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A Teachable Moment?

Wednesday 8 June 2011
Last night, as I was getting ready for bed and sorta-kinda listening to the news - especially for the weather and sports report (Go Red Sox!), I left the room to fix myself a cup of tea and returned to hear Jay Leno say,
"Lawyers are now working on special wording for a "no cheating" clause in the marriage contract. Really? Do we need a "no cheating clause"? I thought that's what the marriage vows were all about."
I'm no fan of Leno, but I thought, well, good for him.

And then I thought, "Hmmm . . . might the otherwise hideousness of the 'all-Weiner-all-the-time' reports provide a teachable moment for the church?"

Might the deplorable situation with the whole host of public officials - Republicans and Democrats - hold an opportunity for the church to provide some catechesis on "Love and Marriage" as well as "Human Sexuality"?

I mean, if we could set aside our obsession with homosexuality for one red hot second.

We do have Resolution D039 of the 73rd General Convention (2000), which says that "We expect such relationships will be characterized by fidelity, monogamy, mutual affection and respect, careful, honest communication, and the holy love which enables those in such relationships to see in each other the image of God," and that such relationships exist throughout the church.

Might not this be a good time to talk about that? I mean, each one of those things - fidelity, monogamy, etc - and what they mean for Christians who are Episcopalians?

I'm thinking, if you hung out a sign in front of the church that said . . .
"SUMMER LOVE. The church, sex, marriage, adultery, Craig's List and Twitter. Thursday night. 7 PM. Followed by Ice Cream Social at 9 PM". 
 . . . you'd get a more than a few folk out on a Summer Evening to see what the heck was going on behind the red doors of The Episcopal Church down the street.

I suspect it might be a heck of a lot more appealing than sitting home watching "Minute to Win It" for lots of folks.

Perhaps this is a wonderful opportunity to talk about male sexuality and how that differs from female sexuality.

I remember one parishioner, a long-time, faithful member of the choir, telling me, "Well, my husband knows what I'm doing every Thursday night. He thinks I don't know what he's doing every Thursday night. I guess he doesn't realize that when I change the bed linens every week, I see his porn magazines and videos under the mattress."

What Anthony Weiner (D-NY) did on Twitter or Rep Chris Lee (R-NY) did on Craig's List is what a lot of man are doing and have done in the "privacy of their homes" for a very long time - except, now it's being done on "social media platforms". 

I'm not judging that. I'm just sayin', it is what it is, folks. Why do we play polite games about it? Maybe if we talked about it more openly, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

Either way, it amazes me that none of these men ever thinks anyone else will find out.

Actually, what Weiner and Lee have done is really no different from what the marketing industry has done for years. Open any magazine, look at any billboard, and you'll see men and women in their underwear in provocative poses - many of whom are 'disembodied' - no face, just a jockey full of junk and a bra that pushes up and abs on both men and women that look like they couldn't be part of a normal human body.

Most of the stuff that passes for 'dancing' or 'reality TV' or 'entertainment' qualifies as 'soft porn', even when you 'bleep' out the obscenities.

Is this committing "adultery in your heart," as Jimmy Carter once said? What does that mean, anyway? And, what relevance does that have for today's Christian who is Episcopalian?

We know what some of our "non denominational, evangelical" sisters and brothers have to say about this. What does The Episcopal Church have to say to help provide guidance to teens, young adults, parents and grandparents?

While we tut-tut and titter as Weiner twitters - or just look away - are we missing a teachable moment?

Or, shall we rely on Jay Leno to be our moral compass?

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